


Unholy meeting

by KuroXan



Category: South Park
Genre: Crack Fic, Daddy Kink, Demon Craig, Dirty Talk, Kinda a proper story at the end, M/M, Not for the weak of heart, Pastor Craig, Tweek exists, crack with heart, don't take this fic seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-04 23:21:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20479139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KuroXan/pseuds/KuroXan
Summary: A Demon pastor meets a shy timid blond and he needs to eat.





	Unholy meeting

**Author's Note:**

> All characters are intentionally OOC so if you don't like that, don't read. It's a good fic though. This is total crack, have fun.

Service was nearly over, there weren’t many people left, just a few stragglers. That was fine, he didn’t want too many people bothering him before he ate. The pastor’s blue eyes drifted to the sight of a familiar blonde. He was new to congregation, the pastor remembered first seeing him about two weeks ago. Craig was pretty sure his name was Tweek.

While Tweek wasn’t as tall as the pastor, he was a tall man with broad shoulders. Which contrasted with his shy and timid personality. Craig thought it cute, he thought Tweek was cute. He was a very kind and sweet man, always polite when Craig spoke to him.

Tweek wasn’t leaving with the others, he seemed content with staying seated. This was good. Tweek was nice, too nice but Craig was hungry. He’ll have a bite and release him. It was a shame, Craig enjoyed looking at him during his services, but demons must eat too.

He walked over to the jittery blonde, stepping light as he skipped over. It was getting difficult to keep his tail hidden, especially around prey. He kept a respectable distance away from the other, waiting for him to notice the demon’s presence. Tweek briefly glanced at Craig before nervously looking back down at his legs. He was too precious, Craig won’t be killing this one. Probably wipe his memories and dump him at another church once he had his fill.

“Is something troubling you?”, Craig asked, voice feigning concern. It didn’t matter, any problems this man has would be wiped away when Craig was done using him.

“I have something to confess to you, father”, The blonde’s pale skin flushed faintly red. The last person left, it was just them now, alone.

“You can tell me anything”, he placed a comforting hand on the other’s shoulder.

“I’ve been having homosexual thoughts”, The blonde whimpered quietly. Oh, this was too easy, too fucking easy. This is good, he didn’t want to play cat and mouse to get his food.

“I can help you with that”, Craig moved his hand from Tweek’s shoulder to his chest. Tweek tensed at the touch. “Were you thinking about me?” he asked as slid his hand across the other’s chest.

“Yes, father”, Tweek whispered shamefully. That’s all Craig needed to hear before pulled the blonde is for passionate kiss, he maneuvered himself into Tweek’s lap as he stifled a moan. It was getting too hot, so he pulled open his shirt’s collar before helping Tweek unbutton his shirt. Tweek grabbed his waist and yanked him close.

“Craig…” Tweek breathed against his lips. Something felt off, this wasn’t right. He was about to get up but Tweek tightened his hold on his hips. “How dumb do you think I am?” Tweek’s voice was completely different from the sweet tone he had earlier, it was deeper, colder and confident.

Before Craig could react, his wrists were chained. “What the fuck is this?” he shouted in alarm. He felt drained, he could feel his disguise dropping. His horns and wings of full display. He tried to escape again but Tweek hold was unrelenting.

“Did you think no one would notice large numbers people going missing?” Tweek murmured against his neck before taking a bite. Craig mewled in response and clenched tightly at Tweek’s shoulders. Tweek rolled his hips up, Craig moaned when he felt Tweek’s clothed erection against his own. “You should finish what you start.”

“No… Fuck, I can’t.” He was struggling to keep sane, even though his powers were sealed his instincts as an incubus remained. His mind was telling him to get the fuck out of there, but his body was craving dick. Tweek turned him around so he was leaning over the pew in front of them, he was too weak to fight back with the chains on his wrist.

“You wanted this, didn’t you?” Tweek questioned behind him, standing up and positioning himself behind the demon. He could feel Tweek’s clothed hard on pressed against his equally clothed backside. His mind couldn’t take it anymore, something inside him snapped.

“Yes! Please, I need you!” Craig sobbed and begged. Tweek began to unbuckle his belt, once Craig heard that he frantically removed his own trousers. He didn’t wear underwear, he stopped wearing them a year ago. He was tempted to touch himself now that his cock was free, but it was never required when he needed to eat so he didn’t.

There wasn’t any warning, Tweek thrusted in and bottomed out in one swift movement. Without his abilities he could lube his ass beforehand it was fucking painful, his nails dug into the pew that he clung to, like a lifeline. It hurt. It fucking hurt. It felt like he was being torn from the inside. Tweek didn’t give him time to adjust to the pain, he pulled back until just the tip was inside before thrusting back in with even more force. It hurt but it also turned him on even more, he couldn’t supress the moans that escaped his lips.

“You really are a slut. I didn’t even prepare you and you’re already moaning like a bitch.” Tweek mocked as before littering the demon’s back with more bite marks. He could move faster but he enjoyed watching Craig squirm under him.

“Fuck.” Craig tried his best to hold back the whimpers of pleasure leaving his throat. “No. I’m fuck… a good boy.”

Tweek laughed at that as he yanked off Craig’s hat and tossed it away. He put more strength into pounding Craig’s eager ass before forcing Craig’s head back by pulling his hair, “Do you really thing think you can lie to me?”

“I’m not lying! I’m good-”, Craig yelped when Tweek jerked his tail forcefully. At this rate he was going to come.

“Wow, you really think you can lie to me and deny that you’re a fucking whore.” Tweek said before halting, still buried balls deep in Craig’s ass. Craig whined shamelessly, he was close, and he was desperate. He tried to push back against Tweek but there were nails digging into his hip that stopped him from moving.

“Please, don’t stop.” He begged, aware of how pitiful he sounded. He couldn’t help it, his cock was hard and precum was dripping from it.

“I thought you said you were good.” Tweek taunted before pulling out completely. He reached for something in his pocket but stopped when Craig grabbed his sleeve. He flinched, his free hand reaching for a gun in his back pocket.

“I need you, I need your cock!” Craig sobbed pathetically. Tweek remembered that demons were laughably weak without their abilities. He brought his hand back to the demon’s waist. He couldn’t help but be turned on by the incubus seductive appearance and needy moans.

“If you want my cock, you better call me daddy.” Tweek was half joking, he didn’t think Craig would take him seriously.

“Daddy, please!” That’s all the motivation Tweek needed to thrust back in. He could feel the demon drawing close to orgasm which prompted him thrust harder. Craig cried out his name as he came an Tweek followed soon after. Once he caught his breath pulled out and pushed the incubus to the ground.

“That’s the end of line for you. Any last words?” Tweek announced before cocking his gun and pressed the barrel against the demon’s forehead. It was close enough that Craig could smell the faint scent of blood and gunpowder.

Craig was finally starting to come down from his feeding high. Once he felt cold metal roughly shoved against face, his mind went into panic mode. His life was too short, there were still things he wanted to do. “I- Please don’t kill me!” He pleaded, unable to stop the tears coming from lust cleared blue eyes.

Tweek was taken aback, he pulled his gun back. “Wait! You aren’t a demon, demons can’t cry.” Tweek began panicking too. Sure, demons would beg not to be killed but true demons don’t have the ability to cry. Taking a closer look, Craig also had those sad blue eyes. Demons are meant to have red and Craig couldn’t be disguising them because of the cuffs around his wrists. He pushed the gun back to Craig’s face with a cringing amount of force which only caused the other to weep more. “What the fuck are you?” He demanded.

“I used to be a normal Pastor, but Satan tricked me into forming a deal with him!” Craig defended himself while trying to lean away from the weapon in his face. Tweek withdrew his weapon again.

“How did he trick you? Maybe, I can help you lift this curse.” Tweek asked, storing his gun back in his holder while Craig made himself decent. He seated himself next to the strange demon, tired of standing.

“He came to the church and I answered the door for him. I was rather surprised to see fucking Satan at our doorstep. He had a delivery for me apparently.” Craig started explaining.

“Wait what?” Tweek said completely baffled but Craig cut him off by continuing.

“He said he needed me to sign for the package, so I signed it, but it turned out I actually made a deal with the actual devil. Then I became some kind of demon.” Craig finished his story.

Tweek couldn’t believe what he was hearing, he was dumbfound. This was stupidity on a whole other level. He dragged his hands slowly across his face. “Oh my fucking God, why would you even sign those papers. Did you even read them?”

“Well, he told me he was in a rush and he even asked politely with a please. You must always help people, it’s the word of God.” Craig spoke like the proud pastor he was. Even though just moments ago, he was willing to take Tweek’s soul by having sex with him.

“There’s not much I can do to help you. I don’t know what was on the contract and the original papers are probably stored somewhere deep in hell.” Tweek rationalised. He turned back to Craig who was shaking violently.

“Then kill me.” Despite his quivering body, his blue eyes and voice were steady.

“What?” Tweek said, not sure if he heard right.

“Normally I just take a big chunk of soul before leaving the body in front of a church I know will look after the bodies. Losing such a big amount changes people permanently and I was going to do the same with you. Even though I don’t kill them, I take a lot that makes them who they are. I essentially kill them.” Craig was sobbing again. “I don’t want to live like this anymore”

“Alright.” Tweek said, reaching for his gun one final time. Hesitation caused him to withdraw his have before it reached his weapon. Craig was a beautiful person both in and out, kind hearted to the point of foolishness. Tweek couldn't bring himself to kill him. Surely, he couldn't leave a demon like Craig running around. Even if Craig was good, he liked to live. “You should still be able to eat souls, even with your ability sealed.”

“I guess I could, but I haven't eaten anyone's soul the regular way before.”

“I have a proposition for you.” Tweek continued when he knew he had Craig’s full attention. “I don’t want to kill you, I have an oath to protect people so it would be wrong of me to. I also can’t let you keep taking most of people’s souls”

“I don’t see the point you’re to get across.” Craig’s confusion was clear on face and in his voice.

“I want you to travel with me.” He said feeling slightly embarrassed, traveling alone was something he thought he’d never throw away.

“I’ll still need to eat, even if I travel with you.” Craig muttered worriedly, his tail dragged back and forth across the floor.

“I’ll get you the food, you can eat the souls of the demons I kill.” Tweek turned to the incubus. “You never have to worry about eating and I don’t have to kill you, which goes against my morals.”

Craig’s eyes lit up, “Then I’ll come with you, I’m sick of killing people or dumping their bodies at some random church.” He got up excitedly, his tail swaying enthusiastically. The demon offered Tweek a hand with a fang filled grin. He took the demon’s hand. He might regret agreeing to this but he couldn’t see into the future, he decided he could give having a companion a try.

\-------------------

He could hear the ending of the Sunday service as he carefully climbed into the church through the window. The words amen echoed through the old building as he made his way down a dark hallway towards the main area. His shoes clicked against the stone ground until he spotted another man across the hallway, making their way towards him.

The man chuckled as he approached, “I knew you’d look better in that outfit. I’m sure you’ll get all of the souls you’ll need.” Once he was close enough, he stopped to admire the beautiful incubus before him. When he reached out to touch him, Craig took a step back.

“Don’t touch me.” Craig took another step back just in case. Luckily, he did because the demon disguised as a pastor took a step closer. However, grimaced when the fake pastor leaned forward quickly grabbing his wrist and pulling him close.

“Come on baby. Don’t you want to have a little fun? You are an incubus after all.” The demon cooed against his ear. He felt repulsed, he tried to back away but the other kept a tight grip on his wrist.

“Jason, I’m fine. I’m not hungry so I don’t want to have sex.” Craig was hoping that would be enough to deter Jason, but his grip tightens around his wrist instead. His eyes scanned the area for anything that would get out of the situation.

Jason scoffed. “A incubus who doesn’t want to have sex, that’s ridiculous. I’ll remind you how good it is.” Jason began grabbing at Craig’s nun robes but soon found himself dowsed with water. The fake pastor reared back in pain as the holy water seared his skin and eyes.

“I said don’t touch me! Also, I’m very sorry about that.” Craig apologised at the end.

“When I asked you to distract him, I didn’t mean for you to almost get yourself raped.” Another voice said as they entered the hall. His heeled boots confidently clanked against the hard floor. The demon wrenched his head up at the sound and was met with a gun against his face. “Any last words?”

Jason was too stunned to say anything, too terrified to move. “Tweek.” The incubus muttered as he draped himself against the demon hunter’s back. Tweek cocked his gun before pressing the hard against the demon’s forehead with an almost sincere smile.

“Bang!” The demon flinched backwards at the sound. Tweek laughed mockingly. “I was kidding.” Jason was relieved for a moment until Tweek shifted his hand and shot the demon’s left leg. “I was kidding about the quick death is what I meant.”

“Come on Tweek, hurry up. I thought we were going on a date this evening.” Craig whined as he got up and stood a few steps away.

“I can’t babe. I need to teach him a lesson.” Tweek said light heartedly before turning back towards the bleeding demon before him. He shot the demon again, this time in the stomach. “Don’t even try to heal them, I’m using gold lined bullets.”

“Sorry Jason, you really shouldn’t have touched me. I even warned you.” Craig stated cheerily as he sat on a nearby bench, swinging his legs playfully.

“You should have never touch what belongs to me.” Tweek dug the heel of boot into the hole his bullet created in Jason’s stomach. Jason was screaming for mercy and a quick death. “This is getting boring. Bye James.” He shot to bullets into the demon’s head.

Craig skipped over once Jason was killed. He picked up the soul before it could go back to Hell. He glanced down at the corpse. “You really made a mess here. We should clean it, so it saves time for the cleaners or the nuns working here.” Craig said before munching on the soul. Just like any other soul, it didn’t taste like much since he wasn’t truly a demon.

“No, we’re leaving. If we stopped to clean up after every job, you’d starve, and you know how you get when you haven’t eaten for a while.” Tweek reminded the other, they have this conversation quite frequently. “Also, you shouldn’t have been almost raped. There’s one single rule I give you so that you’ll be safe. Do you remember what it was?”

“Don’t let other demon touch me. I know but he moved too fast… I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful next time.” Craig said as he slipped his fingers between Tweek’s.

“Fine, just be careful next time. Now we just need to think about our date.” He kissed the incubus’ forehead as they left the church, unlikely to ever return.

\-----------------

Craig sat on a one of the front pews as Tweek put lead through another demon’s head, a good clean shot so they wouldn’t have to leave the church with too much cleaning. This demon was preying on innocent church goers. Tweek grabbed the soul and tossed it over to his lover. He struggled to catch it, he was never good at sports.

He munched on the soul as Tweek talked over and sat next to him. He plopped his head into Tweek’s lap and let the blonde stroke his hair. The two noticed another small chunk of metal fall off the cuffs, it was slowly rusting away. “It keeps chipping away. At this rate it’ll break.”

“It probably won’t last another week.” Tweek commented quietly.

Craig jolted up, “I don’t want it to break, I don’t want to go back to how I used to be.” Tweek grabbed his hand and pulled them close. More metal flaked off from the simple movement, those simple chains could not easily contain a deal made by Satan himself.

Tweek hummed to himself in thought, “Then we replace them. I wasn’t expecting them to break so soon but I guess this will be a good of a time as any.” A kiss on knuckle of each hand and he was ready. Craig stared at the action, it was rather rare for Tweek to be this affectionate. Tweek pulled out a box from his back pocket, far too small to fit two cuffs. “I have something more permanent then what you have on now.” He opened the box to reveal a golden band that was covered in miniature detailed engravings. “I know we’ve only been traveling together for a year, but I was hoping you’d want to be my permanent partner.”

“Of course I’d say yes, there’s no one I’d rather be with.” Craig stated contently. Tweek removed the ring from the box, it had an unnatural glow to it.

“I’m not going to lie, this is going to fucking hurt like a bitch.” Tweek warned, Craig hummed with acknowledgment. He held the demon close as he slowly broke the old bindings. The pain was immediate, it erupted from his core and seared at his skin. His skin felt like it was melting, his insides felt like they were going to spew out from within. He was screaming but his ears had gone deaf from the pressure. Without a second of hesitation, the ring was slipped onto his finger. His body came to a halt and drained once again.

Craig stared at the ring of his finger fondly before looking back up at Tweek who had a rare smile on his face. He intertwined with Craig, kissed the hand with the ring before bringing his lips to Craig who happily kissed back.

Tweek pulled back. “Hungry? We could get some Taco Bell and call it a date.”

“Let’s go.” Craig got up first and pulled Tweek with him. They held hands as they walked out together. They were a strange couple but that didn’t matter much when there was pure love between them.


End file.
